The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 8

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Dec 192012
 

Just when I think this book has hit the nadir, that I can’t hate these characters any more, E.L. James exceeds my expectations.

Probably drunk at this point (and it’s early evening), Ana tarts herself up for a meeting with the architect of their new home, Gia Matteo. Ana is convinced that Gia is after Christian, based on the facts that Gia touches Christian’s shoulder once and licks her upper lip before drinking wine. (She’s blond, so she’s obviously a minion of Satan.) Rather than deal with Christian’s abusive ways, Ana doubles-down on her jealousy of every heterosexual woman on Earth who isn’t related to Christian.

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 7

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Dec 192012
 

Ana’s identification of Jack Hyde from the security camera footage is confirmed by state of the art facial recognition software.

Barney, Christian’s surveillance guy, says:

“Sure will. I’m also going to scan the city CCTV and see if I can track his movements.”
“Check what vehicle he owns.”
“Sir.”
“Barney can do all this?” I whisper.
Christian nods and gives me a smug smile.

Think about that. Remember when back in book 1, Christian traced Ana’s cell phone? Now he has access to an entire city’s CCTV network. That’s a frightening amount of power for a private citizen to have, not to mention hideously illegal. We’ve already seen that Christian’s security apparatus takes orders from him, not Ana, and they are willing to restrict her movements. All of this is adding up to a frightening portrait of the power at Christian’s disposal, and just how deeply Ana is embedded in it.

Granted, when there has been violence directed at you, you probably would want this kind of security. But it’s still disturbing to consider how little it would take for Christian to turn on Ana, and how much of a hell he could make her life if he wanted.

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 6

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Dec 172012
 

We’re heading into another BDSM scene between Ana and Christian. (For these people, car chases are foreplay.)

“Do you have anything in mind?” Christian murmurs, pinning me with his bold gaze. I shrug, suddenly breathless and agitated. I don’t know if it’s the chase, the adrenaline, my earlier bad mood—I don’t understand, but I want this, and I want it badly. A puzzled expression flits across Christian’s face. “Kinky fuckery?” he asks, his words a soft caress.

Christian is asking Ana to take some degree of control. Ana still can’t articulate her desires, probably due to her embarrassment. Even though she’s seen the gear in the playroom, she can’t pick out something she wants to try.

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 5

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Dec 162012
 

Christian and Ana go back to Seattle. More newlywed stuff that gets pretty tired pretty fast. Christian continues to use mock threats of punishment against Ana, and it still is maddeningly unclear to Ana and to us whether he means it.

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 4

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Dec 162012
 

The scene I have anticipated for some time has come. Ana wants to go out shopping out and Christian’s security detail won’t let her. Being Mrs. Christian Grey means being a bird in a gilded cage.

I want to roll my eyes at him, but I narrow them instead, sighing heavily and expressing, I think, the right amount of frustrated indignation that I am not mistress of my own destiny. Then again, I don’t want Christian mad at Taylor—or me, for that matter.

I know some people want to see (and have written fan works) that go inside Christian’s head. I’d like to get inside Taylor’s head, and find out what it is like to bodyguard a neurotic, obsessive-compulsive, borderline-personality-disorder billionaire and his dimwitted, paranoid, gold-digging new bride. “I resigned from the FBI to do this?”

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 3

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Dec 152012
 

Ana is shocked when she discovers that Christian deliberately left hickeys all over her breasts, in order to discourage her from showing her breasts to anyone other than him.

I gape at my reflection. My wrists have a red welt around them from the handcuffs. No doubt they’ll bruise. I examine my ankles—more welts. Holy hell, I look like I’ve been in some sort of accident.

That’s what can happen when you wear handcuffs while doing something strenuous. (I suspect this is a nod to a scene in Twilight when, after consummating her relationship with Edward, Bela awakens covered in bruises.)

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed: Chapter 2, part 1

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Dec 112012
 

I have a half-baked theory that the E.L. James we see in interviews is actually a J.T. Leroy-like front for the real author of Master of the Universe/Fifty Shades: a 15-year-old girl with serious mood and identity disorders. That’s the only way I can explain these books.

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed: prologue & Chapter 1

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Dec 052012
 

They say the only way out of hell is through, and here we go into the last third of the Fifty Shades trilogy.

If Fifty Shades of Grey roughly parallels Richardson’s Pamela, Darker is also a rough parallel of Richardson’s Clarissa. Ana is drawn into a reality completely controlled by Christian, just as Lovelace completely controls Clarissa’s environment. Unlike Clarissa, Ana eagerly accepts her man’s marriage proposal, despite that nothing has really been resolved in their relationship.

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The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Darker: conclusion

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Nov 252012
 

On a strictly literary level, Darker is worse than its predecessor. EL James’ prose style hasn’t improved, and her plotting has gotten worse. Fifty Shades of Grey is built around a back-and-forth between Ana and Christian, while Darker is mostly just forth. Ana isn’t seriously resisting Christian anymore. A large part of this book is external challenges to their relationship, but they are handled in such a way to remove any tension or excitement.

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