The Curious Kinky Person’s Guide to Fifty Shades Freed, Chapter 14

After the Gothic psychodrama of Ana and Christian’s tortured couplings, and murderous plots by Christian’s former employees, it’s hard to care that Elliot may be cheating on Kate even as he proposes marriage to her. (Another symptom of a post-shark-jump TV series: random and gratuitous proposals and weddings.)

EL James seems to believe that the readers will be so involve these characters that we are as involved in their lives as we would be in the lives of people we actually know. Really, it can be a challenge to be interested in the weddings of friends and family. To get interested in the wedding of two barely sketched secondary fictional characters is nearly impossible.

Ana drinks some more, Ana and company go clubbing, Ana looks daggers at the hostess, Christian insists on picking up the bill, Ana tries to drink some more but Christian makes her drink water instead, Ana and company go dancing, Ana realizes the guy holding her on the dance floor isn’t Christian and slaps him, Christian goes into jealous entitled asshole mode and punches the guy out.

This looks less like Christian gallantly defending Ana and more like Christian overreacting so he can pick a fight and vent some rage.

I put my arms around Christian’s neck until he finally makes eye contact, his eyes still blazing—primal and feral. A glimpse of a brawling adolescent. Holy shit.
He scrutinizes my face. “Are you okay?” he asks finally.
“Yes.” I rub my palm, trying to dispel the sting, and bring my hands down to his chest. My hand is throbbing. I have never slapped anyone before. What possessed me? Touching me wasn’t the worst crime against humanity. Was it?
Yet deep down I know why I hit him. It’s because I instinctively knew how Christian would react seeing some stranger pawing me. I knew he’d lose his precious self-control. And the thought that some stupid nobody could derail my husband, my love, well, it makes me mad. Really mad.

Maybe you should be more mad that you’re married to a ticking bomb, Ana. There are a lot of “stupid nobodies” in the world, and keeping all of them from setting of your landmine of a husband will be a full time job.

Ana and Christian dance, and of course Ana thinks he’s a great dancer.

But I know his love is clouded with issues of overprotectiveness and control, but it doesn’t make me love him any less.

Overuse of “but” aside, this is the highly problematic ideology of this work.

The drinks wear off and Ana has to go home. Christian is aware that Ana drinks at lot, and even likes it. It gives him more excuses to baby her. In fact, the urge to infantilize her overrides Christian’s usually unflagging libido, as he puts her to bed without sex. Maybe Ana and Christian just need to switch kinks and do a daddy/girl ageplay thing.

Ana actually thinks that Christian has made progress, but really he’s the same volatile, controlling loose cannon he’s always been. If anything, the fight at the disco is a greater loss of self-control than we’ve ever seen before.